But that's OK by me! Don't get me wrong, I feel like a piece of crap for not being able to give the boys an amazing Christmas material-wise..... BUT......they will know the true meaning and spirit of this time of year because we have each other. That's something money cannot buy - a loving, stable family life.
Aidan is at the age now where he's beginning to understand things on a deeper level. I tell him everyday how lucky he is to be living in a nice town, going to a fantastic school ( for free! ) and having a nice roof over his head. He's such an amazing little boy with a depth to him that is too mature for his short 6 years on this earth. He looks at me with all knowing eyes and tells me that he understands how lucky he is. We talk about the other children around the world and in our own country -the ones who are not as fortunate as he. We talk about the children whose parents have lost their jobs and their homes, how they are living in homeless shelters, hotel rooms, and on the streets.
I believe in being roughly 90% honest with him at all times. The other 10% of the time I want to protect him from things that he is too young for yet. I believe growing up this way, knowing the truth about your parents and what they are sacrificing for you, builds a strong character. I don't want him to have a cookie cutter distorted view of things. He needs to know that we don't have money. My husband works hard to put food on the table ( which is so damn expensive in itself, but more about that later! ) pay rent and bills. I tell him what his Stepfather has to go through everyday just to get to his job. I tell him to thank his Stepfather often for what he does for us and he does.
So this year, just like last year, we will not be in the mall with everyone else...trapped in the commercial frenzy that has become Christmas. We will be home - relaxing, enjoying each other, making things for each other and to decorate our home in spirit of the season. The boys will have a few things to open on Christmas day...and they will treasure those things, I'm sure.
Christmas is at the forefront of my mind because it's already all around you when you step outside! I have to rant here for a minute (as my husband calls it) because I'm quite bothered by all the pressure around me to hurry up and start thinking about Christmas! Yesterday I drove through town and they already have the Christmas decorations up! I heard a Christmas song on the radio while I was driving and looking at the gorgeous fall foliage around me. When that happened, my insides felt a little off. My seasonal inner time clock sort of went nutty at that point. We haven't even celebrated my absolute favorite holiday yet - THANKSGIVING!! Already I am having Christmas shoved down my throat in every possible way. Even my neighbors put up Christmas lights already!
I blame retail. I really do. Everyone gets so caught up in all the information the retail giants are forcing into your mind through commercials on TV, flyers in the mail, sales that are just "too wonderful to pass up".
What happened to listening to your own inner instincts and following the seasons? I think it's quite ironic to see beautiful fall colors and Christmas lights at the SAME TIME. It's really screwing with my head.
Slow down. That's all I have to say. Just get into a rhythm, turn off the damn TV, put those annoying sales flyers in the recycling bin as soon as you get them, and just live, breathe, be. I love overhearing people say how stressed out they get around this time of year. For what? What is it worth? Those people are putting pressure on themselves...striving for a perfection that doesn't exist. Just go with it. Enjoy the time, the season, and the flow.
Ok....off my soapbox.....for now........
Disclaimer :
Please don't take me seriously....only take what I say seriously if you want to. These are my opinions, thoughts, and views on life in general. I don't think of anyone in particular when I write words like these. I have to say that because people get so easily offended these days! Just covering my ass like the smart girl I was raised to be! : ) xoxo
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