I lost my dear Aunt Glady this summer. She was the eldest member of our family and the kindest, gentlest soul that you would ever meet. She was missed so much this year.
On Thanksgiving day, I was taken to her now empty house ( which is for sale ) to collect some things I had put aside in the basement. I put aside family heirlooms and some of Glady's treasures that I wanted to keep to remember her. There was one thing in particular that was set aside that I had forgotten about - a shoe box filled with letters. My Aunt Glady saved everything! She lived in that house for over 45 years and it was packed corner to corner with stuff. She never threw anything away. When the house was being cleaned out to get it ready to sell, my Aunt Lynne came across a shoe box of letters that were written by myself and my brother to my Aunt Glady when we were children. We lived away from my family in other states for a long time. We went from being together all the time, to never getting to see them. My Aunt Glady, my Grandparents, and my Dad's sisters were an enormous part of our lives and we loved them so much. My Mother moved us around from state to state and kept us apart from them for a long time.
So, what did we do to keep in touch? We wrote letters....on actual paper, with our own hands...and put a stamp on the envelope and mailed it! This is such a foreign concept to children today. Glady saved our letters and I like to think it was to preserve a little time capsule for us.
Needless to say, when we got home from Thanksgiving this weekend, I put the kids to bed and pulled out that shoe box. I sat on the couch with my tea and read letter after letter. I would by lying if I said that it didn't bother me too much. It did. My brother and I led such a rough life with my mother. Without getting into too much detail in this one post, lets just say my mother was an abusive, nasty, selfish woman who reminded us daily that we should never have been born. I was so sad to read those letters because it brought back bad memories of this sad little girl who missed her family so much. At the end of each letter to Glady, I drew hearts and smiley faces and told her I loved her so much and that I missed her.
I almost feel like that little girl again as I'm starting to lose members of this amazing family I'm lucky to be a part of.
But....I must find the positive in those letters....and it is this : I'm so incredibly grateful that I finally made it back to my family when I was 14 years old. I'm so thankful for everything that they have done for me and continue to do for me now. I realize that I took a bad situation and turned it around.....I didn't turn out to be an abusive mother. I'm quite the opposite - I love my children more than life itself and I would do anything for them. But most of all, I'm grateful for all the little things in life. I know that sounds cliche, but when you live a rough life as a child, you do see the world a little differently. As a victim of child abuse and now a mother, I can tell you with absolute certainty that a hurtful word can be carried a lot farther than a blow to the body. I honestly can say that I would rather get hit a million times than to have to endure the mental abuse. That never, ever goes away.
So Aunt Glady, this is for you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there for me and for helping us through our tough times. You clothed me, send us care packages, and kept our spirits alive when there seemed to be no hope. I am most thankful for you and for what you have instilled in me. I will carry your spirit and keep it alive for as long as I'm on this earth.
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